There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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