i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
