so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
