$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
