Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
