haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
