I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
