Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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