Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
