After last night, I could never be a politician.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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