Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Are we still banned from the library?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
