Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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