he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
