i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
