Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
