Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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