remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
