he thought i was a dude.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
