the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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