You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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