we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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