I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
