Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
