I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
