i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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