I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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