That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
