put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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