They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
