Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
