what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
