I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
