I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
