sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
