pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How's work?
Spinning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
A+ Viking dick
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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