So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
