i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
