I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she looked like the before picture.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
