i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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