When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
