nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
