apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
