can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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