I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry about my life...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
