Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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