using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
