Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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