I think I died a long time ago.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
