I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
