: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
