people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
