WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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