Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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