Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
